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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26034556">Rebel Without a Cause</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahoy_stevieboy/pseuds/ahoy_stevieboy'>ahoy_stevieboy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stranger Things (TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Brother-Sister Relationships, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Multi, Sister-Sister Relationship, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:00:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,604</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26034556</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahoy_stevieboy/pseuds/ahoy_stevieboy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Margaret Wheeler is a junior trying to make her way out of Hawkins High School and to a great college, hopefully far away from her home town. But a series of highly unusual events and really bad luck, or maybe her poor judgment, seems to lead her to an unfathomable situation along with her sister, Nancy, her annoying boyfriend, Steve Harrington, and Jonathan Byers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Steve Harrington &amp; Original Character(s), Steve Harrington &amp; Original Female Character(s), Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler, Steve Harrington/Original Character(s), Steve Harrington/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Adam</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Thursday, October 18th, 1983.</b>
</p><p>I took a deep breath and pushed past the school entrance. The halls were buzzing with rattling murmurs, the walls and floor covered with scattered paper. On the bulletin board, using all the space was the poem with big letters for everyone to read. <em>T</em><em>o</em> <em>fuck with love - phase III</em>. As I walked towards my locker, I saw the different book titles placed at the end of some of the papers discarded on the floor. They were quotes from books like Madame Bovary, Tropic of Cancer, Story of O, and Justine.<br/>
“Holy shit!” I heard a group of guys passing by. They had multiple pieces of paper in their hands.<br/>
I opened my locker, unimpressed by the papers raining down from it. I tried to ignore the multiple conversations going around as I organized my belongings, but sometimes it was inevitable.<br/>
“Oh my god!” A girl screeched next to me and proceeded to read the passage in her hands to her friends. “I suck it in, all in, the sweet meat cock in my mouth and your tongue slips wet and pointed and hot in my cunt and my legs spread wide and wrap your head down into me.”<br/>
The constant murmur, the gasping, and the screeching started growing irritating. I was impressed, yet anxious about how nobody had come tearing down the halls, looking for someone to blame. I was waiting for Mr. Barnes to burst in rage by now, arranging to behead the person responsible.<br/>
“When a boy puts his stiff prick into a girl’s vagina and moves it around this is called having intercourse, or making love, or sleeping together, even if they don’t sleep at all. The usual word for intercourse is fucking.” A soft masculine voice read next to me with a sarcastic tone. “That’s funny. I like your sense of humor.”<br/>
I turned around, to my surprise, Adam Riggs was leaning against the lockers. He was a popular senior. He was a tall and handsome guy. He was popular for his looks, which I could understand, but the girls principally emphasized how humble and enigmatic he was. Big shit, he didn’t gloat on his reputation. Still, he enjoyed every second of it, he loved stirring shit up.<br/>
“Okay, I think it might be funny because of the sarcasm when <em>you</em> read it, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I hurried, trying to push my books into my backpack. His attention made me nervous, people here were too interested in everything he did, and he was directly suggesting this whole thing was my doing. He was going to ruin this for me with his notoriety.<br/>
“I get it. I’m impressed. There is a lot of high-quality literature in these” he continued, picking a quote from my locker. “But I’m curious to where were you able to get all these. I’m pretty sure the librarian would not approve for a <em>young lady</em> to read these kinds of books.”<br/>
“Are you implying I did this?” I tried my most innocent look, faking my confidence.<br/>
“No. I’m sure of it.”<br/>
“How so?” I asked, leaving my biology book and the book I was currently reading out of my bag once I realized they were not going to fit. He chuckled at my frustration and walked next to me to my class. My hands were shaking. Having him close was making me nervous.<br/>
“We’re together in English.” I knew that. I was paired with one of his best friends a while back to do Shakespeare. Nate had been obsessing over doing better than Adam and his partner. “Plus, I’ve noticed you go for a lot of obscure books.” He pointed to the copy of <em>The Book of Monelle</em> on my hands. “Well, given all this,” he sighed, signaling to the big poster on the blackboard of the classroom. “I have a few books that might interest you. Maybe you could recommend me some too, and we could discuss the poetry on the bulletin board as well.”<br/>
A part of me was very interested. I wanted to talk about these things, but I was not going to admit to any of this. Otherwise, I was going to be expelled and grounded for life. And even if Adam was handsome as hell, I was not falling for a stupid ploy to score with me or whatever shit he was pulling. Besides, this was starting to feel like a cheesy rom-com movie plot, and I was too familiar with those to fall for it.<br/>
“Again, I am not responsible for this. And I already have something to read.” I said, finding my seat at the back of the room.<br/>
“Okay. We’ll talk later. I want to catch the poster in my class before Miss Click takes it down.”<br/>
I watched him walk out of the classroom with mixed feelings bubbling inside me, mainly concern, curiosity, and pride. I turned to the blackboard, satisfaction spread through me as I read the poster:</p><p>
  <em>Against giving students the right to decide things is that they aren’t “mature enough” and “can’t see the real problems”. People have said the same thing about Africans, Eskimos, Red Indians, Chinese, etc. You know yourselves what this argument is worth.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Wednesday, October 19th, 1983.</b>
</p><p>“This is an extremely serious matter, we will not tolerate this insolence. Your collaboration in this circumstance is crucial. If you have any information that might help us find the person responsible for this act of vandalism, let us know.” Mr. Barnes dictated.<br/>
“Yeah, sure. For better or worse, the person who did it turned the school upside down. I doubt someone would snitch.” Nance whispered to me.<br/>
My butt was starting to get numb from the amount of time I had been sitting in the stands, listening to Mr. Barnes go on and on about the severity of these acts of insubordination. We were called to an emergency assembly before the first period, which was long lost.<br/>
“He hasn’t said shit, all he’s been doing is threaten us. I believe that he’d expel the person responsible, but this sounds like a plain old witch hunt to me.”<br/>
Nancy shrugged, completely uninterested, oblivious to my internal freak-out.<br/>
“This will be settled, and the people involved will be held accountable. Now, with that in mind, you can continue with your schedule.”<br/>
As we slowly made our way out of the gym following the crowd, I heard Barb’s gossiping with Nancy.<br/>
“Steve was looking at you the whole time!”<br/>
“He was not!” As I turned to look at them, I noticed Nance’s flushed cheeks. I was stunned, to say the least. “What?” she asked when we made it to the hall.<br/>
“Nothing– I mean… It’s your loss, little sister, but that guy is as boring as they come.” She titled her head, annoyed with me. “Trust me, I share more classes than I’d like with the guy. But if you like him, go ahead, I won’t judge– or try not to.” I corrected, once she raised an eyebrow to me. She opened her mouth to answer when the bell rang. I waved at the girls before running off to my class.<br/>
When I walked inside the room to my regular spot, the last seat next to the window, I found Adam sitting on the desk next to it, talking to one of his friends. He met my eyes for a second before turning back to his buddy. <br/>
Annoyed, I took my place, ignoring my surroundings, opening my copy of <em>What We Talk About When We Talk About Love</em>. I had barely finished the first page when I was interrupted.<br/>
“Already finished yesterday’s book?” He asked. I turned my head to him, not saying a word. He waited patiently for me to speak, but Mr. Slater entered the classroom, urging us to start the class as he apologized for his tardiness.<br/>
“I have been instructed to keep a close eye on you.” He warned before starting the class. “It’s clear yesterday’s demonstration is a response to the banning of the book, and all of you are the most obvious suspects. Believe me, when I say I’m just as sorry as you, The Catcher in the Rye is a powerful book, I was excited to hear your opinions on it, but that is not the answer.”<br/>
I felt my heart leap, I had managed to keep myself calm, but Mr. Barnes’ speech was starting to get to me. Still, the remainder of the banning light up a spark in me too. Mr. Slater kept talking about the lost opportunities to discuss crucial themes, very current to us. I kept my head down, as usual, doodling on the corners of my notebook, mulling on my aversion for the parents’ board and their fixation on banning books every year. When he finished, right before he started talking about our next book, a dainty ball of paper struck my hand. I looked back at Adam.<br/>
“I got your back.” He mouthed, winking before shifting his eyes back to Mr. Slater.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Friday, October 21st, 1983.</b>
</p><p>“Come on, Peggie!” Nancy whined, tilting her head to the side to emphasize her puppy eyes. “I can’t tell mom I’m just going to hang out with Barb, she won’t believe me. You can use my angel wings to improvise a costume. Please!”<br/>
I sighed. “Fine. You can keep the wings, I’m just going so you can, that’s it. And you’ll owe me.”<br/>
She patted my shoulder and rushed out to her room, probably to call Barb. <br/>
I switched from my sweatpants to a pair of jeans and put on a pair of white sneakers when I heard Barb’s car pull up. I picked up my walkman and my book and got out, Nance met me in the hallway, as I shoved my belongings on my backpack.<br/>
“Why are you taking a book to a party? Don’t be such a loner.”<br/>
“Are you seriously going to question me when I’m doing this as a favor to you?”<br/>
“Just hurry, okay?” she said, before running down the stairs to meet Barb.<br/>
I knocked on Mike’s door and peeked inside, he put down his walkie-talkie as I stepped in, keeping his eyes on me while I walked to his closet.<br/>
“Can you lend me your red hoodie for tonight? It’s the only thing missing in my costume.” I said as I put it on.<br/>
“What are you supposed to be?”<br/>
“The kid from E.T.”<br/>
“Yeah, what an enormous effort you made.” He rolled his eyes. “No way you can pass as a boy.”<br/>
I knew that. My hair, though short, was still too long, and my shirt was too tight around my chest. Either way, I shrugged at him and rushed out to join the girls in Barb’s car.<br/>
I knew Sam was going to this party, I planned on sticking to her side until the crowd became unbearable and sneak away to read. I wasn’t big on parties, but I indulged in Halloween. The Jenkins’ pre-Halloween bash wasn’t my thing, but since Nance started going out, mom made a show of her taking me along. I liked that she thought I was responsible and collected, yet, having Sammy as my only friend and reading too much worried her. There was no in-between with her, so we’d play as going out to parties, or the library together to get mom off our backs.<br/>
Nancy was nervously playing with her hair as we drove through town, I sat in silence in the backseat, while Barb teased her about Steve, and how everyone was saying he liked Nance. Barb was always on top of the gossip inside the school, but it didn’t make it less surprising when she mentioned that Mr. Barnes’ witch hunt came to an end.<br/>
“Turns out, Anne Wallace snitched. It was Adam, Brian, and Nate. They spent all morning in Mr. Banes’ office and later took Anne for coffee.”<br/>
“No way,” I said, stunned about the whole story. The image of Adam telling me he’d handle it flashed through my mind. “Anne is not a snitch.”<br/>
“Yeah, but are you surprised?” Nance commented. “Adam and his friends always do stupid shit like this, I’m more surprised they didn’t rejoice in it before. Why would they take their snitch out, though? To show how zero fucks they give?”<br/>
“You’re just assuming, they probably took her out for coffee as a nice gesture, so she doesn’t feel bad about it.”<br/>
“Yeah, right.” Nancy scoffed before getting out of the car.<br/>
“Whatever, Nance, at least they’re not like Steve as-smart-as-bait Harrington.”<br/>
She shook her head before opening the door to the Jenkins’ house. The smell of alcohol mixed with smoke and faint sweat filled the air. The house was packed, filled with teens dancing and screaming, there was barely any space to breathe. I stuck with Barb and Nancy for a while, until I spotted Sammy. I made polite conversation with my drunken classmates and joined on brief periods of dancing with my friend.<br/>
After a while, the heat of the room grew overwhelming, combined with the constant, and inevitable, bumping against sweaty bypassers. I clutched my backpack and made my way to the backyard, which had a surprising calm and quiet atmosphere. I set myself on a lounge chair, under the barbeque area across the pool, facing the glass door to the house to get good lighting to read. Taking a deep breath, I immersed myself in the book, milking the words, suffering along with the characters, distancing myself from my surroundings.<br/>
I got consumed in the book until I started to get uncomfortable in the position I was sitting, braking my concentration to move. I noticed Adam sitting in the chair next to me. He was casually leaning towards the light, with a relaxed face as he read Bukowski. I felt my cheeks burn when he turned to look at me.<br/>
“Who knew you could be polite and not interrupt my reading?” I heard myself say, surprised by my bluntness.<br/>
He grinned and closed his book, shifting to face me. “I definitely tried to, you were long gone. What are you doing here? Partying is obviously not your scene.”<br/>
“What would you know? You don’t know me.”<br/>
“I’m trying to.”<br/>
I sighed, sitting back on the chair, looking at the party inside. The muffled sound of music and undecipherable conversations coming from the house offered me an escape, but I found myself wanting to talk to this guy.<br/>
“My sister likes Harrington. If we go out together, mom’s more flexible with the rules.”<br/>
“Harrington? And you’re okay with that?”<br/>
I shrugged. In the living room, I noticed Nance sitting on a sofa with Steve’s arm wrapped tightly around her. “Did you and your friends take the fault for me?” I asked, remembering what Barb had said.<br/>
“Ah, so you admit it.’’ He looked at me with a smug smile. I stayed quiet for him to continue. ‘‘Well, I don’t know if Brian did it for you, but Nate was more than pleased to contribute to your <em>poetic stunt</em> as he called it.” I rolled my eyes, making him chuckle. Nate was very dramatic, . “I told you I’d have your back. Besides, Nate’s dad has Mr. Barnes in the palm of his hand, plus, he hates banning books and despises the parent board, so he basically bailed us out… So, now that I’m your knight in shining armor, will you tell me how you got a handle on those books? I know Miss Jenkins wouldn’t let you take them from the library.”<br/>
“She wouldn’t. I wanted to read Lady Chatterley’s Lover during summer break, and she lectured me about how inappropriate it was for a lady to be looking at such pornographic, lewd books. She even told me, if it were up to her, she’d burn such obscene abomination.” I told him, imitating the librarian. He burst out laughing, his chest moved with the rich and warm sound, his eyes shrank, accentuating his smile. “I spent hours looking through the shelves, reading in secret, writing down the passages. I felt sick, the dirtier and more graphic, the better.”<br/>
“Why not use only Sade?”<br/>
“Because I would have gone insane. Have you read anything from him? It’s mind-blowingly nasty.”<br/>
I rambled on about Sade and different authors, finding myself deeply invested in our conversation, with such interest, I would have never expected. I found Adam to be fun, charming, and inventive. In the back of my mind, I could hear myself calling me out for pushing him away before. We talked for a good amount of time before Brian and Nate joined in, shocking me as well. They were as foolish and dramatic as I pictured, but also sweet and easygoing. I didn’t realize I spent the whole night with them until Nance and Barb came looking for me, and we ended being escorted to Barb’s car by the three of them.<br/>
“See you Monday, Itty-bitty Meg.” Brian and Nate called from a few steps back.<br/>
I laughed and waved goodbye. Before I got inside the car with the girls, Adam took my hand and stepped closer to me.<br/>
“Do you want to go out? Tomorrow.”<br/>
“Uh– sure.” I stuttered, feeling my cheeks redden as he smiled.<br/>
“Here,” Nancy said from the car. She leaned out the window, handing him a piece of paper. “That’s our number.”<br/>
I smiled at him and entered the car. As we drove away, I heard Nate and Brian making loud kissing noises. I bit my tongue, dying to stick my head out the window and tease them back, but as tempting as it was, I didn’t know them enough to join in on their teasing, so I just sat back while my cheeks turned red and laughed along with Barb and Nance.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Vanishing of Will Byers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span>Sunday, November 6th, 1983</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>''Mom, wait, just twenty more minutes!'' Mike whined, following her to the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mom hissed at me when she caught me dipping my finger in the mashed potatoes, I laughed and leaned back against Adam, letting him wrap his arms around me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''It's a school night, Michael. I just put Holly to bed. You can finish next weekend. That goes for you too, Adam, you'll see each other at school.'' She said, glancing at us with a stern look on her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nodded and guided Adam away from the kitchen as Mike tried to build an argument. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I'm serious, mom. The campaign took two weeks to plan...''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I heard Adam laugh behind me as I opened the door to the garage. I felt my cheeks numb. I had plastered a dumb, pleased smile on my face every time I spent time with Adam. After the Jenkins twin's party, we had been attached to the hip and had inevitably become a couple. I hadn't pictured Adam to be such a formal guy, but he insisted on it, and for us to introduce each other to our respective families. I had been a nervous mess with his very conservative family, trying to make polite conversation with his mother, impressing his father, and getting along with his little brother. By the end of that night, I was sure they despised me, mostly for being a silly hippie who won't eat meat. I could almost hear his mother calling me stupid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the contrary, he charmed the hell out of my mom. She found him 'a brilliant, handsome young man.' Dad found him alright, I guessed, he didn't say much, not then, not ever. Adam made a huge effort. He even engaged in a long discussion about Lord of the Rings with Mike and promised him a box of legos. He charmed the pants off of everyone in my house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once alone in the garage, I turned to him, circling my arms around his neck as he brushed the hair off my face and smiled at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You're gorgeous. Mom doesn't know what she's talking about.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''What?'' I asked, thinking it was best not to know as flashes of self-doubt threaten the back of my mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Nothing'' he said, giving me a peck on the lips. ''She's just jealous. She told me a while ago she would hate every girl Todd and I bring home because she wouldn't be the most important woman in our lives anymore. And the other day, after you left, she sat me down on the table with a serious face and just said: you're falling in love with this girl. She didn't ask, but I nodded either way. She wasn't expecting that.'' He shrugged and shifted closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither did I, had he somehow told me he was in love with me in the process of confirming my doubts about his mom?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I smiled back at him, not sure of what else to say and let him kiss me deeply, holding me tightly to him, feeling his body against mine. I had never been an actual girlfriend before, I didn't know what he expected of me. Owen Wells told me he liked me in eighth grade and kind of dated for about a week before he got tired of me not paying him enough attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I forced my head to stop thinking about the fact that he just affirmed his mother loathed me, telling me that it didn't matter and to focus on him kissing me, but it kept repeating in the back of my mind, along with the feeling that maybe this was going too fast for me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loud disgusted noises called our attention, making us turn towards the sound. Mike and his friends were on the door to collect their bikes, looking at us with a bothered expression. Dustin stepped behind them as we moved to the street.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''There's something wrong with your sister.'' We heard him as I walked Adam to his car. ''She's got a stick up her butt. She's turning into a real jerk.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turned to my boyfriend, mouth open in surprise, he chuckled. Leaning against his car, he wrapped his arms around my waist to kiss my cheek. ''I love how small your waist is.'' He whispered in my ear, tracing my figure with his hands. I giggled, kissing him deeply and taking a step back when I head the boys near us. He grinned and opened the door. ''See you tomorrow, bonnie Meg.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I waved at him, a little confused by his constant fixation on calling me different nicknames. He previously told me I'd come to understand it, but I was still waiting for that moment to come. I said goodbye to the kids as they rode away and walked back into the garage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Is that how you kiss? You looked like you were trying to swallow each other.'' Mike laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Shut up, nerd,'' I said, urging him inside before me, so he didn't notice my cheeks redden.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>Monday, November 7th, 1983</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>''We should be out there right now. We should be helping look for him.'' </span>
</p><p>
  <span>''We've been over this, Mike.'' Mom shut him down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was hard to eat, seeing Mike so worried was unsettling. It was still hard to process, Will had been with us not even twenty-four hours ago, and now was missing. In the back of my mind, I could see his family worried, waiting for him to come home. If it had been Mike, I would have lost it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''But we should,'' I said. ''Mike is worried sick, the least we could do is go as a family to look for him while looking out for each other. We have to do something. Will could be in danger.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''More reason to stay put. End of discussion.'' She said in a severe tone, leaving the room silent until Nance decided to try her luck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''So... me and Barb are gonna study at her house tonight. That's cool, right?''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I filled my mouth with a spoon full of peas in an attempt to hide the smile tugging at my lips. That was such a bad lie, but I was not going to throw my sister under the bus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Am I speaking Chinese in this house? Until we know Will is okay, no one leaves.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''This is such bullshit! So we're under house arrest? Just because Mike's friend got lost on the way home--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Woah, don't be such a dick.'' I interrupted, along with mom and Mike. ''Such a shitty thing to say.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Language!'' Dad warned, completely oblivious to the argument that Nance had just started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You're just pissed off 'cause you wanna hang out with Steve,'' Mike stated, causing the discussion to halt, causing both our parents to ask about the boy, waiting for an explanation. ''Her new boyfriend.'' The kid provided.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You're such a douchebag, Mike!'' Nancy whined before standing up, stomping upstairs to her room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn't take long for Mike to get irritated for the lack of caring about Will and walk out too. Seeing dinner was over, mom got up to put Holly to bed while dad and I finished our meals while discussing today's paper and me trying to convince him to rent and watch The Twilight Zone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was worried about Will, but I didn't feel with the energy to fight mom on going out. After washing the dishes and changing into my pajamas, I called the Byers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Hello?'' Jonathan answered in a flat tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Jonathan? It's Margaret, Mike's sister.'' I waited for confirmation on the other side of the line, but he kept silent. ''I'm sorry, we're really worried for Will, uh- I just wanted to tell you that I'm here to help with whatever you need. Our moms will probably be in contact-- what I mean is I'm here for you. Anything you need, school-related or not, you know? We've known each other for a while--''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Thanks, Maggie, that's nice of you. See you around.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hung up, but I didn't dwell on it. In his place, I would most likely be running around like a headless chicken.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>Thursday, November 8th, 1983</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>I was exhausted. The day had been a drag. I couldn't focus during class, also while with Adam and his friends, I felt guilty for enjoying their company. I was irritated with everyone, too. No one else seemed the least bit concerned about Will's disappearance, treating it like something normal, as if it had happened ever before in Hawkins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the morning, I saw Jonathan hang a missing poster on the bulletin board, just over the remains of the marker from my obscene poem from a few weeks back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Jonathan.'' I stepped up to him, but before I could get another word out, Nance appeared next to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She went on about how sorry she was and assured him that Will was okay, that he was a smart kid. She walked away quickly when the bell rang, setting herself next to Harrington, with his arm wrapped around her shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I meant what I said yesterday, okay? Whatever you or your mom need.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded, I could tell he wasn't convinced, but with a small pat on his shoulder, I walked away to my biology class.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that response, I was more than surprised when he called me later that night. After dinner, he asked me to go help him look for Will in a matter-of-fact tone. I snuck out with a barely equipped bag and biked across town to meet Jonathan on Cornwallis, next to the woods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We ventured into the forest. We walked in silence. I followed Jonathan as he snapped pictures around the place, feeling useless, illuminating our path with a flashlight that looked like was running out of batteries.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A loud feminine scream cut through the air, startling us. My body responded without me noticing. We were running through the trees, following the sound until we reached a house. Looking closer, I recognized Nancy standing by the pool, oblivious to Steve, who was standing behind her, and his intentions of pushing her in. Inspecting the scene, I noticed the scream we heard must have been Carol, who was already in the pool with Tommy. I stood there, next to Jonathan, completely frozen. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How and why the fuck is Nance hanging out with these guys? She used the assembly about Will as an excuse.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed, slightly annoyed and worried. Steve Harrington was a jerk, and I was scared that Nancy was going to get sucked into his moronity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I'm going to take a look over there,'' I mumbled and stepped away. I didn't want to meddle into Nance's business, but keeping my cool seemed harder each time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked around with my useless flashlight until it ran out of juice. I managed to meet Jonathan near the Harrington house, deciding to head back home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>Wednesday, November 9th, 1983.</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>''If it isn't Sweet Sammy and Itty-bitty Meg.'' Brian teased us, making a place for Sam between him and Nate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I set my tray next to Adam. As I sat down, he placed his hand on my knee and kissed my cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Hey, little Peg.'' He said, handing me a small piece of paper before focusing back on his lunch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Across the table, Nate and Brian teased his friend, while Sammy gave me a bright smile and shot dreamy eyes to Adam. ''That's so cute,'' she mouthed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I read his note in silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>In search from A to Z they passed, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And “Marguerita” chose at last; </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But thought it sound far more sweet </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To call the baby “Marguerite.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When grandma saw the little pet, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She called her “darling Margaret.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Next uncle Jack and cousin Aggie </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sent cup and spoon to “little Maggie.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And grandpapa the right must beg </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To call the lassie “bonnie Meg.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>From “Marguerita” down to “Meg,” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And now she’s simply “little Peg.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt my chest swell with happiness. No one had ever given me a poem, much less with my name on it, and since he had been calling me all these different nicknames for a while before, it made me think of how much thought he might have put into it. I squeezed Adam's hand and joined on our friend's conversation, not wanting to draw more attention. Nate and Brian soon asked Sam to escort her to her next class, leaving Adam and me alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I called you yesterday, as we agreed,'' he used a deep tone I had only heard once before from him. ''But your mom said you went to sleep early. What are you, eighty-years-old?'' He teased me, I rolled my eyes. ''You could have called to say so.'' He turned away, a rigid expression on his face, his brow slightly furrowed. He had done the same on Halloween.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Come on, Adam. I was tired.'' I said, wrapping my arms around his waist, resting my chin on his shoulder. He ignored me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn't want to tell him I snuck out. He had made various comments about how he felt about it, that it was stupid and irresponsible. Sammy tended to do so, and he had stressed enough that he didn't like her, especially not now that she was fooling around with Nate. I knew he agreed with mom about not looking for Will, and I didn't want to start an argument about it. I had had enough for a lifetime after Halloween.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You don't fucking care, Meg. I never say anything. I did the poem thing, and you shrugged it off when it took me forever to find it. I have given you every nickname possible, and I'm just Adam to you.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I knew the nickname thing was coming. He had heavily hinted me about it, but I didn't feel comfortable calling him stuff, I didn't like cutesy nicknames. I knew we were different. I was quiet and more subtle about showing that I cared, but I didn't want to hurt him, so I gave in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I loved the poem. I didn't want to say anything in front of Brian and Nate because I figured you wouldn't like them laughing or something.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I don't care what Brian has to say. Nate helped me look for it, actually.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Well, now I know. And I'm dying to show it to Sammy, by the way.'' I felt his body soften a little, but I knew he was waiting for the rest. ''And I wanted to call you honey, but your mom uses that, and it would be weird. Now, I'm just stuck with Addykins.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckled and turned around, kissing my cheek before helping me up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Whatever, if you wanna go for that, fine. But no one else is allowed to use it.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nodded and let him guide me to my class. I was more than surprised to see how pleased he was by that nickname, not sure how I trapped myself with it. Just thinking about it felt wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After school, I was talking with Nate and Sammy next to her car, waiting for Adam. Nate was halfway his story about helping Adam with the poem when Sam interrupted to point across the parking lot towards Harrington and his group.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan was stepping to his car when Tommy H took his bag from him and threw it to Steve. They started going through his photographs, pointing and using aggressive gestures when Nancy joined them. I felt my blood boil when I saw Harrington tear up his photos. I started walking towards them with my friends close behind, speeding up when I saw him take out Jonathan's camera.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Hey, what the fuck do you think you're doing!'' I spat, shoving Steve back. But I heard the glass breaking and Tommy laughing behind me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''What's going on?'' Brian soon joined in, towering over Tommy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Something wrong?' I heard Adam behind me, placing his arm around my shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone stood in silence, deep in a staring contest, waiting for the other to give up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Come on, let's go. The game's about to start.'' Harrington said to Tommy and stepped away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nancy stood looking at the ground, kneeled to pick up a few scraps before running after Harrington and his entourage of fools when he called for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sammy and I helped Jonathan pick up his photos, but an alarm went off in my head when I saw a picture of Nance looking out a window, wearing yesterday's clothes on Harrington's house. With a sigh, I handed him the pictures without Nance on them and stood up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Didn't think I'd regret defending you.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I folded the photos and shoved them on my bag as we walked away to our cars.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once I was in Adam's passenger seat, driving away from the school, he broke the silence I had established.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You shouldn't meddle on that stuff. What if Harrington had tried to punch him? You could have got hurt, and then I would've had to beat the shit out of him. Why do you care about that guy so much?''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I didn't get hurt. But I would have given you the reason we both have been waiting to punch the lights out of him.'' He didn't laugh, just kept looking straight ahead. Adam had no patience for shit he didn't care for. ''I didn't think. I saw them cornering him and jumped in without a second thought. And I don't 'care so much' about Jonathan. But he's been through a lot, and I thought he didn't deserve Steve and Tommy's teasing.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You should have though, Meg.'' I resented his scolding tone while calling me Meg. ''Especially if it's a guy you supposedly don't care, it's not like you to be this impulsive and irresponsible.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed, slightly guilty for worrying him. ''For the record, I regret intervening. He had a bunch of pictures of Nance. It was creepy,'' I mumbled, sinking into the seat. ''Can we forget this?'' I lean towards him, taking his hand on the gearshift. He let me interlace our fingers. ''I just want to have a good time with my cute boyfriend, especially since we never get to have the house to ourselves.''</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When I got back home, mom and dad were watching the news. I was going to head straight to my room when the reporter's words registered in my brain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Byers' body was found in the water of this quarry by state police earlier this evening. It was discovered by state trooper David O'Bannon, just after dark.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stopped and slowly stepped next to dad on the sofa, looking straight at the images on the TV. I sat down and leaned against him, as he wrapped me in a tight hug and kissed the top of my head. I fought back the urge to cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Does Mike know?'' I asked mom, on the other side of dad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded, taking my hand, kissing my knuckles. Her face mirrored mine. Her eyes filled with tears as her nose turned red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Barb seems to be missing, too.''</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>Friday, November 11th, 1983</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>Will's funeral was a nightmare. Everything seemed off. The kids were almost laughing, Joyce looked dissociated. Nance even went off with Jonathan, but when I approached them, they stopped talking, waiting for me to step away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dad dropped Nancy and me at home after the service on his way back to work. Mom went with Mike to the tribute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Why didn't you tell me about Barb?'' I asked Nancy before opening the door to the house. She shrugged. ''Are you hanging out with Jonathan now?'' I insisted. ''Even after the stalker-like photos?''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''He apologized. I don't have to explain myself to you, Maggie. You'll have an opinion, no matter who I hang out with. Sorry if no one is as perfect as Adam.'' She retorted and pushed the door open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. She took off at some point and didn't come back home until it was fairly late.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was supposed to hang out with Adam, but he got stuck home babysitting his brother, Todd. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was a little frustrated. He refused for me to visit him, always dodging run-ins between his family and me. He insisted on me staying home so he didn't have to worry, given the circumstances, and promised to do something nice the next day. So I set camp on the couch and called Sammy to come over and watch flashy movies. She showed up a while later, with her stack of corny movies and a six-pack of beer.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you guys liked it :)<br/>-A</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Other Side</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span>Saturday, November 12th, 1983</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>I was finishing getting ready when mom yelled from downstairs, informing us that breakfast was ready. I rushed to the kitchen and sat down next to dad, who was reading the paper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''This came in the mail for you.'' He told me, handing me an envelope with the NYU logo on the left corner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My heart jumped at the sight. I had forgotten about it, not wanting to give myself false hope. My hands itched, asking me to open the letter, but I remembered a conversation with Adam a few days ago. He was bitter about me always running to Sammy with my news. He went on, about him always confiding in me while I never shared anything with him. So, I thought it might be a nice gesture to wait and open it with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''What is it, honey?'' mom asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Nothing.'' I shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was not satisfied with my answer, but I ignored her resentful look, desperately wanting for me to share, and finished my breakfast in silence, occasionally making suggestions to help dad with the crossword puzzle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A little after, Adam drove by to pick me up. I pushed the letter inside my bag and jumped into the passenger seat, not listening to what mom was saying about Nance. We drove off to the fields outside of town, to spend a nice and quiet day with just the two of us.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We found a meadow with a picnic bench and parked next to it. I could tell Adam wasn't too convinced about the idea of spending the day out without further purpose, but he kept quiet and let me arrange our picnic. Once it was done, I collected the envelope from my purse and stepped to him. Adam wrapped his arms around my waist and settled me onto his lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I got a letter from NYU,'' I blurted out. My stomach was twisting with nerves and excitement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I thought I was the senior.'' He laughed, nuzzling my neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Remember at the start of the semester when Mr. Slater talked about internship opportunities and stuff?'' He nodded. ''He pitched me this literature and creative writing program at NYU, it's about two months long. I had to send a few writings and a recommendation letter from a teacher. It didn't seem complicated, so I just did it. Primarily because I didn't think I had a chance, and it sounds kind of like a scheme to pre-select recruits.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You're such a teacher's pet,'' He mocked me. ''Did you get it?''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I don't know. That was stage one, I just got the letter today. I wanted to open it with you.'' I offered him the envelope. I watched him take out the letter and read while I picked at my chipped nail polish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You're onto the next stage, Peg.'' I shrieked, he laughed. ''You have to write an essay with one of the suggested themes,'' he continued reading. ''I'm happy for you.'' He didn't seem to. He hugged me and laughed at my excitement, but he looked a little sad. ''You want to do this? It sounded like you weren't very convinced.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Well, I've always wanted to go to a good college far away from Hawkins. And this is a great opportunity. Maybe if I have access to the library, I can read all the books I can never find here.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam smiled and pushed me towards him, kissing me deeply. He adjusted my position so I was straddling him, holding on to his shoulders. The kiss was urgent. His hands ran up and down my back, one pressed on my lower back to hold me close while the other tangled in my hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I love you.'' He said after breaking our kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was surprised. Adam had said it before, but I didn't know what to say. We had been going out for a few weeks. Love was too strong of a feeling for such a short amount of time, but it was nice to hear it, no one had ever said that to me before. I didn't expect anyone outside my family to feel that way about me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''It's okay if you don't feel it, I understand. I needed to get it out of my chest.'' He whispered. And it broke my heart. I wanted to tell him how much he meant to me, that he was special. But nothing came out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled and stroked my hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I love you, Maggie. You are perfect. Smart, beautiful, fun... The only thing-- If I had to change anything about you. that tiny little detail is this.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I froze. Adam's hands felt like claws on my stomach, grabbing at my belly. Was he telling me I was fat? My mind stopped working. Sure, I wasn't as thin as Nancy, but I had never fixated on my weight before, I was happy with how I looked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was sitting, a roll above the jeans was natural, I told myself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked at his hands. His fingers were digging on my skin. He was grabbing at every inch of fat he could. I didn't know if the burning feeling in my stomach was because of the force he was using or my pure embarrassment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''If you dropped this, you would be perfect. But it's okay, I'm not perfect either.'' He said, smiling and putting away the letter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it wasn't. I was fat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, I had a completely different perspective of myself and every single moment of my life. I could hear mom telling me to watch what I was eating, other girls talking about how big my butt was, me, being the funny, clumsy, fat girl on the drama club in fifth grade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I smiled back at Adam. I didn't want to spoil the day or for him to know how embarrassed I was. He had told me he loved me. He had said it multiple times, and I never said anything back. We were both in a vulnerable position. Adam had a short temper, and I didn't want to risk ruining the day with an argument or feeling like a burden because of how sensible I was. It was hard for me not to get emotional over our fighting. So I ignored it and acted normal, and Adam went back to being his easygoing self.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We decided to head back before it got dark. Before getting inside the car, Adam sat down on the bench before me and took my hands in his, peering up at me with a pleading look in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I waited for him to say something, smiling down at him while cupping his face on my hand. He urged me forward, wrapping me in a tight hug as he buried his face on my neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Don't go. Don't take the program. You'll be in New York all summer if you take it. You could be here with me before I leave for college.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''It's only two months out of the summer, and it's far away.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Still, it's for most of the summer, and I don't think I can do long distance. But I'm not going to push you. It's your choice.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed my cheek and opened the door for me. I sat on the passenger seat in silence, considering his request. Was he threatening to break up with me if I took the opportunity? Adam had proven to me more than once, that he was a nice guy, and that he cared about me, that would be a stupid thing to do. But I get not wanting to spend so much time apart, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We drove back. Adam asked about Nancy because I mentioned before she had been weird, and I found myself going off about how she was apparently hanging out with Johnathan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''She said he apologized, but it still weird. I went out with him to look for Will that night and turns out, the next day he has creepy photos of my little sister with him.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''The day you didn't answer the phone because you said you went to sleep?'' He asked, clenching his jaw.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>''Yeah,'' I whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''So you lied to me, to go out in the night with him.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You're making it sound like more than it is.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Am I, Meg? Cause I wouldn't sneak out with some girl and then lie to you about it.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before I knew it, we were arguing, talking over each other. Adam was repeating how disappointing my behavior was and how bad of a girlfriend I was, bringing up what had happened on Halloween. I was out of patience, not being able to get a word in, and repeatedly pressing for him to pull over. He drew to a halt right outside of Mevald's. I pushed myself up and out of the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''What are you doing, Margaret.'' He said, in an exasperated tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I need air. I can't do this like this, it's too much.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''No. Get back in.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Give me a minute.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Meg,'' he bellowed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I just need a second.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He scoffed and punched the steering wheel. ''Fuck this. Call me when you grow up.'' He barked, before shutting the door and driving off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sat down on the closest bench to calm myself, feeling about to break. I waited for about twenty minutes for Adam to come back, but that never happened and decided to walk down the street to a payphone to call home. It was too cold and too late to walk across town.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Hey, mom.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Peggy, have you seen your brother. Or Nance?''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was worried. I should be honest, but as I looked around, I spotted Harrington's car and figured Nance was close somewhere, or at least Steve would have an idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Yeah. Nance's at the movies.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Come back home and bring her with you, okay? And call right back if you see your brother.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Okay,'' I whispered and hung up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Should've I been honest? Was Mike in danger? Am I going to have to catch a ride with Steve and Nance?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So much for Adam being perfect. He made me feel like an overemotional kid every time he got upset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked around, looking for a sign from Nancy, but only found Harrington outside the cinema, folding a ladder with a bucket of red-tinted water. He recognized me and nodded as a salute, making me notice how badly beaten up he was. The left side of his face was evidently injured, with cuts in his temple and nose, and the swelling on his bottom lip made him look like he was pouting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Where's Nance?'' I asked, forcing my eyes off his wounds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked away before answering. ''Probably with Johnathan Byers. Why?''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is that what happened to his face? Does everyone have a problem with Jonathan?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Need to find her to go back home.'' </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt vulnerable. I wanted to get home and bury myself in bed to cry until I fell asleep. I hated fighting. I was stubborn and short-tempered, but I had argued so much with Adam lately, I was starting to resent any confrontation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Want a ride? I just need to take this back.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It came to this. Steve Harrington was my last resort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I forced myself to nod, struggling to meet his gaze, and wrapped my arms around me, trying to shield me from the cold breeze. He guided me back to his car. As I opened the passenger door, I noticed the graffiti behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Byers is a perv.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>''What were you doing before? What did you write on the billboard?'' I asked once inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Tommy did it,'' he mumbled, paying an unnecessary amount of attention to his driving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I scoffed. ''Like that moron does anything you don't command. And even so, you still choose to surround yourself with them. You play this confident, stoic persona when I could almost see you pee your pants when Adam--'' I stopped myself, not wanting to get kicked out of a car again, but I had already said too much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I glanced at Steve. He kept his eyes straight on the road to the Byers' house, not saying a word, trying to look unaffected by my words. I felt my gut take a punch. I was already feeling bad, and I was blatantly taking out my frustration with him because I was too intimidated to discuss anything with my boyfriend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turned away from him, looking out the window to shield me from his stare. My eyes were watering with embarrassment and tears. I was upset, and my pride had taken a punch accepting a ride from Steve Harrington, especially after Adam left me stranded. I felt so stupid and vulnerable, and the possibility of Harrington knowing what happened terrified me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I quietly gave him instructions to the Byers house. He parked behind Jonathan's car and got out. I walked behind him to the door and noticed him pressing his palms to his thighs before knocking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Jonathan?'' He called, his voice was a little shaky. ''Are you there, man? It's Steve! Listen, I just want to talk.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door unlocked, Nance peeked out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> ''Steve,'' she whispered. Her eyes flared with surprise when she spotted me standing behind him. ''Listen to me,'' she continued with a stern tone. ''You need to leave.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I'm not trying to start anything, okay? I messed up. Really. Please. I just want to make things right.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Nance--'' I called, growing worried from the bandage in her hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Is that blood?'' Harrington asked, trying to take a closer look at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''It's nothing. It was an accident,'' she stammered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''What's going on, Nance?'' I insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Did he do this to you?''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nancy insisted for us to leave as Steve pushed on the door, but her efforts were in vain. I rushed inside after Harrington, ready to demand an explanation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My mind went blank when I saw Jonathan standing next to the coffee table, with the same bandage as Nancy wrapped around his hand. The carpet was stained with blood, the alphabet scribbled on the wall. Christmas lights hung from the ceiling on every corner of the house. A nailed bat on the table next to him and the place reeked of gas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You need to get out of here.'' Jonathan declared, pushing Steve towards the door. ''I'm not asking you, I'm telling you to get out of here!''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''What the fuck is going on here?'' I pressed, trying to get in the middle of the guys, pushing Jonathan for an answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Hey!'' Nancy called our attention. ''Get out!'' </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan stepped away at the sight of the gun. I stood frozen in place as I heard Harrington shout and shift behind me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''What is going on!''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You have five seconds to get out of here.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Nance started the countdown and Steve tried to make her stop, I noticed the lights start flickering behind her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Nancy!'' Jonathan yelled. ''The lights. It's here.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Wait. What's here?'' Steve called.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I watched them grab on to their weapons and stand back to back, looking around the room as Steve kept pushing for an explanation next to me. I held my ground, standing in silence as I grew weary, trying to make sense of the situation when a sudden creaking noise cut the air as the lights flashed frantically. The ceiling cracked, pieces of concrete started to fall on the carpet as a roaring noise filled the room. I ran and took cover behind Steve as Nance shot at the roof.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I barely caught a glimpse at the creature before us. Jonathan tugged from our hands, shouting for us to run and follow them to the hallway, trying to overpower the monster's growl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Jump!'' Byers instructed as we made our way to the bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I did as told without a thought. I could hear both guys yelling around me, as we followed Nance. Jonathan was directing us as Steve nervously called for God. The only thing going through my mind was not to die.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Jesus! What the hell was that?!'' Steve cried once we were locked in Will's room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Shut up!'' we said in unison.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We stood, looking closely at the door. Nance and Jonathan gripped their equipment, ready to attack. The constant blinking from the lights was disturbing my sight and starting to give me a spinning sensation. Then it stopped, and the sound from the hallway seemed to cease.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We walked out in silence after Jonathan, still looking for the creature, but it appeared to have vanished. The house was quiet, and the hole in the ceiling was no more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''That can't be right. We all saw it break through the roof, right?'' I asked, checking for cracks and pieces of asbestos.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''This is crazy!'' Steve yelled, still freaking the fuck out. He propelled himself straight to the phone on the wall, probably to call the police, but Nance took it from his hands and threw it across the room. ''What are you doing? Are you insane?''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''It's going to come back! So you both need to leave.'' She commanded, glancing at me. ''Right now.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harrington's face was pure fear as he looked around the room, I shook my head and crossed my arms, straightening my stance. I was not leaving while Nancy's life was in danger by some horror movie creature. My knees were shaking. I wanted both to cry and to run the fuck away. But Nance was determined to stay, and since I was not dragging her home by the ear, I was going to make sure she got through this insane situation alive. Harrington didn't think twice and ran for the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not a minute had passed, and the lights started flickering again. Nance and Jonathan held tightly to their weapons as they became alert. I looked around for something to defend myself with and spotted a big kitchen knife on the coffee table. I clung to it for dear life while positioning myself back to back with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Come on. Where are you?'' Jonathan shouted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lights went out, and I felt my heart drop to my stomach. A low growling sound came from somewhere in the dark. I turned, trying to spot the creature, and heard Nance warning Jonathan, as I spotted a tall figure towering over him, letting out a loud howl followed by the thud of the bodies falling to the ground and the bat rolling away from Jonathan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lights flickered again. Jonathan was lying on the floor with the monster holding him down, growling close to his face while Nance called for him. I lounged forward, out of instinct, and stabbed at the beast before me, but it paid no attention to my attack. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Meg!'' Nancy called. ''Stand back.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I obliged, seeing she was pointing the gun to the creature.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The repeated shots were effective. It stepped off of Jonathan. As I ran to help him up, in case of injury, the shooting continued, and I realized Nance was the one in danger. I looked around the room for Jonathan's bat when she ran out of bullets and became aware of Steve running to pick it up and step before Nance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could barely distinguish the shapes of Steve and the monster as they moved around the house. The multi-colored flashing of the lights hampered my sight, but the grunting and growling sounds were moving away towards the hallway. A nipping sound followed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''It's in the trap!'' Jonathan yelled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We rushed to watch behind Steve. The creature was tugging and struggling to free itself from the bear trap on the hall. As I stared at it, shrieking in desperation, my stomach turned. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What about my integrity? Was this any different from not eating meat?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>''Jonathan, now!'' Nancy instructed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything was happening too fast for me. I couldn't see what Jonathan had thrown towards the monster until the hallway was lit up by flames. I shut my eyes and turned away, covering my ears, as the heat from the blaze hit my back, and the screeching from the creature pierced the air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Step back!'' I heard Jonathan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I watched him empty the fire extinguisher over the flames. As the smoke cleared, fear and guilt started settling on my stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Where did it go?'' Nancy asked between coughs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''It has to be dead,'' Jonathan assured. ''It has to be.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I blinked back tears from my eyes due to the smoke. On the trap was nothing but residues of a slimy substance resembling the color of blood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Is it coming back?' I asked, watching a string of lights above us light up one by one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve maintained an attacking stance, ready to pounce as we watched the lights move. I followed them as they seemed to turn away from us, back to the living room and towards the door. Nance clutched my hand as we followed the light out of the house. I squeezed back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Where's it going?'' she whispered, watching the lamp post flicker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I don't think that's the monster,'' Jonathan answered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We waited for several hours until Will woke up. The mood was tense in the waiting room. The fluorescent lights and the warm air were taking a toll on me, making me feel exhausted. I was, but I refused to break in a room filled with my family, Mike's friends, Harrington, and the chief of police. When Jonathan stepped in to let the kids go see Will, Nancy stood up and followed behind. I glanced at Harrington, putting on his jacket, and jumped at my chance to get some rest, and finally be alone with my feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You mind giving me a lift?''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded quietly, and we made a swift round of farewells.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We drove in silence, both tired and still processing what had happened, yet my mind was completely blank. As we drove by Mevald's the feeling I had bottled up, rushed through me. I blinked back the tears and breathed deeply. The mix of exhaustion and fear, combined with Adam telling me I was fat, and the fight we had were downing on me. When he pulled up to the house, a Journey song was coming from the radio, and Steve turned to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I know we're not friends, and this is none of my business, but I saw what happened with Adam earlier. He's an asshole. I'm saying this because I like Nancy, and I respect you both, and you shouldn't waste your time on a guy who leaves you stranded.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt my eyes get watery again as heat spread through my face and my jaw clenched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Yeah, it's none of your business. If you genuinely respect my sister, why the fuck are you writing shit about her for the town to see? Oh, right. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That was Tommy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You're too much of a coward to do anything for yourself. Mind your own damn business.'' I spat before storming out of the car and run inside the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I leaned back against the door to calm my breathing, but it didn't work. I slowly made my way to my room, dragging my feet upstairs. I threw myself on the bed, tugging at the comforter to cover myself as the tears ran down my face. I was sad, exhausted, and embarrassed. And I had just taken it out on Steve, who, surprisingly enough, was just trying to be kind. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Halloween</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This might be a heavier chapter for some, so just to be safe: WARNING, this chapter goes further into Adam and Margaret. There's nothing too explicit, but a few suggestions.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span>Sunday, December 11th, 1983</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>I rushed inside the house and headed for the kitchen, where mom was finishing cooking dinner. A warm and rich smell filled the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You didn't invite Adam to come in?'' she asked when she spotted me. ''If his family invites you for lunch, the least you can do is invite Adam for dinner when he drops you off. Steve's here too.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I tensed at the mention of Steve. After the interdimensional disaster, Nance and Steve broke up for a while. So we went back to our nonexistent relationship and just ignored my outburst once they got together again. Adam showed up the next day to smooth things over, and we managed to overcome the fighting streak we had seemed to fall in. It still bugged me, the way he acted that day, but I couldn't bring myself to talk about it, fearing we could get in a big fight again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I did, but he had a thing with his dad earlier tomorrow.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't. But I knew he didn't want to come in, especially not if he had to make shitty small talk with Steve. I didn't want him to come in. It made me feel uncomfortable. To have him talking trivialities with dad while answering mom's questions (which he had mentioned he found nosey) and having Mike gushing about some sci-fi fantasy series to Adam, which he had no interest over. I could see how dull and tedious my family was to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I made my way to the living room. Dad was sleeping in his armchair while Steve stared at the TV. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Hey,'' I said, slowly making my way towards Harrington, sitting on the edge of the coffee table, forcing myself to face the pending conversation, to do the minimum decent thing. ''I- I never told you I'm sorry. You were trying to be kind, and I got defensive and tried to hurt you. You didn't deserve that. You're a nice guy, and you genuinely care about Nance. I'm sorry, Steve.'' I said, brushing my hands against my thighs, struggling to maintain eye contact, feeling my cheeks burn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''It's alright, Meg. Guess we've both done stupid impulsive shit when hurt.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I'm not proud of it,'' I replied quickly. ''And I'll scalp you if you hurt or insult my sister again, Harrington. You hear me?''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Loud and clear.'' He said with a satisfied smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Good.''</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>Thursday, October 30th, 1884</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>I huffed as I secured my bike in the parking stand and felt one of my books fall out of my backpack. I checked the zipper on my bag, and with a sigh crouched to pick up my copy of Swann's Way, finding the pages were now wrinkled and stained with dust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As I walked towards the school doors, I mumbled to myself to either make dad teach me how to drive or swallow my pride and catch a ride with Steve and Nancy. Fuck knows I could have used a few extra minutes of sleep today. I had tossed and turned all night, overwhelmed by my feelings, trying to make sense of any of it. I walked looking at my feet, cursing at the world when I bumped against a built, denim-clad body. The smell of cologne and cigarettes filled my nostrils.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Watch it.'' I barked at the guy and stomped inside the building.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My funk only got worst after the first period. I couldn't ignore my feelings long enough to pay attention during class. I felt like a mess, and everyone could see it. The urge to run away and cry was in constant repeat at the back of my mind. I couldn't stop thinking in the comfort of my bed, disappearing from everyone's sight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I opened my locker and dumped my books inside, keeping my sight on my current read as I gathered my hair in a high ponytail. I narrowed my eyes on the title: Swann's Way. It was mocking me. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck Swann, we are not the same, </span>
  </em>
  <span>I kept repeating myself. I couldn't shake off the overwhelming feeling of empathy that struck through me as I read his story. It was so fucking twisted, to feel his heartbreak so strongly, to see parts of myself in him. It couldn't be the same. I wasn't running around to please someone who didn't care shit for me, was I? I knew Adam. I was not chasing after someone I made up in my head. He wasn't perfect. I was clear on not idealizing him, recognizing both flaws and virtues. </span>
  <em>
    <span>People didn't saw me like that, did they?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>A bright orange paper sheet appeared in front of me, disrupting my thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Tina's Halloween Bash. Come and get sheet faced.'' I read.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''What are you going as?'' Sammy asked, leaning against the locker next to mine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I'm not. It's a school night, and Adam won't be there. Besides, I don't feel like it.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''So? Fuck Adam. He'll have his fun at a college party. Come on, Meg, you like Halloween. We barely see each other outside of school anymore. You barely go out of your house if Adam's not in town. How many books have you read this last month? Thirty? If you don't want to go, it's fine, but not if it's just not to upset that stupid boyfriend of yours.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I don't feel like getting drunk off my ass and dance with some guy in a lame costume, nor I want to take care of your stubborn drunk self.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''So don't. I just don't want you to depend on Adam to live your life. I feel like you're giving up way too much to please him.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked away, picking up my books, and disappearing to my next class. I knew Sam and Adam hated each other, and I knew what Sam was saying was true, to some extent. Our relationship hadn't been going as well for a long time, and it only got worse once Adam moved away to go to college. I knew I shouldn't be so accomodating to his demands, but I felt guilty when I didn't. Adam's advice wasn't bad for me. I had been talking more with mom, helping her with Holly, and lost a lot of weight during summer. Everyone had complimented me over it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I mulled over Sam's words all day. They got me through the best volleyball practice I ever had since I joined the team, taking my frustration out on the ball. It still was a bad practice. I sucked at volleyball, and I hated it either way. It was Adam's suggestion to keep me occupied and active. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>''You should join a sport. It would improve your mood, not looking so discouraged all the time. Plus, you don't want to lose all the progress you made over the summer. Look at yourself, your waist. You're thinner than ever.''</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I got home and rushed to the shower. I undressed before the mirror, checking my reflection as my muscles flexed with the movement, spotting the excess flesh on my arms and hips. I turned to the side to examine the shape of my belly, trying to imitate the way Adam had grabbed me that day on the fields, but my grip wasn't vigorous enough. I turned to the front. Short and broad, like when cartoons get hit in the head with an anvil. I glanced at myself one last time, forcing my eyes away from the fading bruises on the inside of my upper arms and thighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Fuck Adam,'' I heard Sammy's voice in my head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why couldn't I talk to him? Tell him to get lost? What was the difference? We barely saw each other once a month since he graduated. He blew me off all summer, and I let him. He would get mad at something and freeze me out, or dump me to regret it in a couple of days, and I would be there waiting for him. Why did I do that?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I had tired Sammy chatting about Adam. I couldn't talk to her anymore. I had nothing else to talk about that wasn't him, Holly, or cooking. I could hear myself sounding like Grandma, meant to only please men. I knew Sammy thought I was pathetic. If I told her why I joined the volleyball team with her, or the bruises, or the baking, or why I dropped the NYU program, she would flip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck, I was so mad at myself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>wanted to pinch myself for it. I knew what Adam was doing. I knew he wasn't playing. Striking up wrestling or trying </span>
  <em>
    <span>sensitive </span>
  </em>
  <span>spots after a fight wasn't subtle. Yet, I let him, keeping a playful look while swallowing the whimpers and tears, not telling him to stop. Convincing myself he was being genuinely playful, he wasn't trying to hurt me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why didn't I said something, knowing it wasn't right? If Sam or Nance told me this, I would beat the shit out of the asshole doing it to them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>Wednesday, October 31st, 1984</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>''Hello?'' I answered the phone. Nerves were stirring up my insides, hoping for it to be Adam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Hey,'' Sam said. ''I was just calling to ask one last time if you wanted to go to the party.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked at the kitchen clock, feeling my heart drop to my stomach. Adam wasn't calling, and once again, I was isolating myself, waiting for his call. I could see myself slowly turning into a housewife, baking for him when he was in town, accomodating to his every need. Fuck that. I was better than that. I knew he was going out tonight, probably with one of the hundred girls he talked about to make me jealous. Whatever he did with anyone, was his choice. He was responsible for his actions, just as I was for mine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Yeah. I'm going.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sammy squealed. ''You need me to help you with your costume?''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I got it.'' I laughed and hung up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Sammy came to pick me up, she greeted me with a tight hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''I love you, nerd.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Me too, stupid.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam loved horror movies, and she had donned herself a female take on Jason from Friday The 13th. I had grabbed a blue cardigan, the brightest red belt I found, and a brown bag, to resemble Julia from 1984, improvising a costume that would also allow me to take a few books with me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina's house was bursting with teens. The music was blearing, audible from a block away. It was the same every year. Flashbacks from last Halloween flooded my mind. I could practically see all the steps I took, from where I had danced with Brian to the corner of the front yard where Sammy and I had stood, shivering while sipping coffee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We stepped in, almost crashing into Tommy H and the new guy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>''We got ourselves a new Keg King!'' He was shouting. ''Billy! Billy! Billy!''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both of them smelled like beer and cigarettes. I stepped back behind Sam, shielding myself from their sweaty, inebriated bodies, and let her lead us across the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I held on to my soda tightly. Feeling sick with guilt as time passed. I stood there, in Tina's Halloween party, knowing that Adam was going to get pissed about it if he knew I went out. I tried shaking off the feeling of abandonment as I talked with other people, brushing aside the voice in the back of my head, reminding me that he had been ignoring me for the last few days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt my shoulders curl up as Sam put her arm around me, smiling down at me, urging me to sway to the rhythm of the music. Griffin Jenkins stepped up behind us, hugging us to his side, whispering into Sammy's ear, bringing his body against hers. I watched her closely as her hands rested on his chest, batting her eyelashes with a soft smirk. Sam was pretty, thin, and tall with long blond hair and big brown eyes, the complete opposite of me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''What do you say, Meg?'' Griffin turned to me. ''Want to dance with us?''</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck no</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I hated being in the middle of Sammy's hookups. I forced out a chuckle and shook my head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You kids go ahead, I can entertain myself.'' I winked. Griffin burst out laughing, patting me on the back with a look </span>
  <em>
    <span>Atta Girl!</span>
  </em>
  <span> ''I didn't mean that!''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''No shame here, Meg. Girl's gotta do what a girl's got to do. I mean, with the long-distance stuff--''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You sure?'' Sam interrupted. I nodded and saw her drag Griffin to where the people were dancing, rubbing against each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now my brain was plagued by the thought of Adam, knowing he would say something about this party. He would comment on me drinking last year but assuring me that he'd trust me not to act like that again. I was suddenly feeling suffocated by the air in the room. I bolted out the door as my vision blurred, overwhelmed by my feelings, my eyes watered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was cold, but I kept walking down the street, far enough for the music and conversation to be muffled sounds in the distance, to where the sidewalk met the woods. I stood there for a while, looking out the trees, trying to calm my breathing as the tears streamed down my face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The image of Adam looking down at me, telling me how disappointed he was, not being able to look at me for too long, repeating how I had hurt him while the people in the yard carefully watched our interaction. My cheeks burned with embarrassment at the memory. I wasn't drunk, yet Adam's behavior was so cold and intimidating while he repeated how I fucked up that not even my pride could hold the tears welling in my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I crossed my arms, my fingers digging the inside of my upper arms, pressing on the bruises. I was sad and tired, but mostly, I kept asking myself why I was letting Adam do these things. Why was I letting myself drop out of all the things I've dreamt about for someone who was treating me poorly? I didn't want to be in this position. I knew it was wrong, so why couldn't I step away from it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Fuck,'' I whispered, looking up at the sky to stop the tears from falling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Meg?''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harrington was standing next to his car a few feet away. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why him?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He had already seen me in this position. He saw Adam drive away and leave me stranded. He probably thought I was a moron. He was nice. I would've never thought I'd be looking at him, wishing for my relationship to resemble his, for Adam to act more like him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Are you okay?'' He asked, stepping towards me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I noticed his eyes a little glassy and his reddened nose. I shivered as the cold struck me. ''Yeah, right as rain,'' I smiled. He didn't buy it. My face was probably red and puffy. ''You?''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked away and shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You'll do long-distance with Nance next year?'' I blurted out, unable to think of anything else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve looked down at the floor, frowning. ''Don't know. Maybe. I'll probably stay here and work with my dad.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''For her?''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't answer. ''How's it going for you? Long-distance.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Pretty much same since Adam graduated.'' I shrugged, looking back at the trees. If he hadn't been around, hanging out with Nance, watching romance movies every other night, it could have been a good response. But he knew it was bullshit. He had seen me crying after fights, waiting for Adam to pick me up and then call an hour late to cancel. He saw my disgraceful attempt at a birthday cake for Adam, heard him lovingly mocking me about how ugly it turned out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he didn't say a thing. And I didn't know if it was better than saying something. He stood next to me, in silence, looking towards Tina's house in the distance. Teens were still arriving in crowds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then Nance came out. She was practically being carried out by Jonathan. He sat her on the passenger seat of his car and drove off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If I didn't know better, I would have said something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Nance's having a hard time about Barbara.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''That why you're fighting?''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Not a fight, exactly. But no.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Why is she having a bad time?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Can't tell you. She wouldn't want me to.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I resented that but could appreciate him respecting her trust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Can you keep a secret?'' I asked after a few moments of silence. Adam was flooding my mind again, making me bitter. He nodded, and I decided to trust him, desperate to get it out of me. He wasn't as close as Sam or my family. His judgment wouldn't hurt as much. ''I started applying for a summer program at NYU at the start of last year, but I dropped it halfway through because Adam said he would break up with me if I left, that he couldn't do long-distance, and that he wanted to spend the summer together... It was creative writing. I've wanted to go to New York since I was little. It's the first step to exploring the world. And I picked him over it.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn't turn to look directly at him. I glanced at Steve from the corner of my eye. He kept his face looking straight before us, probably searching for a response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You don't have to say anything. I needed to get it out. I know how it sounds.''</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stood in silence for a long time. I could feel his misery, just as I was sure he could feel mine. We looked at the people driving and walking by, the party still at full steam, while we looked out front, not saying a word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Do you think Nance likes Jonathan?'' Steve suddenly asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn't answer. He probably didn't want me to, nor was there any right answer for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''You want me to take you home?''</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>''Thanks'', I mumbled as he parked in front of the house. It was the first thing any of us had said since he offered me a ride, and also the last. I gave him a faint smile and waved goodbye, and Steve did as so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked into my house, wondering if mom had seen Nancy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Peggy?'' she called from the living room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mom and dad were watching a horror film on TV. She smiled at the sight of me. Maybe Nance managed to sneak in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>''Adam called a while ago,'' she said and turned her focus back to the TV.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked upstairs. My body stiff and cold. Adam knew I went out to a party. Mom probably mentioned Sam came to pick me up. He must be thinking I got drunk and danced with someone else. He was going to be pissed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I peeked inside Nancy's room on the way to mine. She was sound asleep, her boots on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once inside my bedroom, I picked up the phone. It wasn't an odd hour for Adam to be up, but I knew he was not going to pick up. He probably won't answer for a few days, but if I didn't show effort in trying to talk to him, it was going to be worst. I dialed twice, hoping he would let it ring. I was tired. I didn't want to fight over the phone this late at night, but I still felt pressured to grovel for his forgiveness. And I hated myself, and him, for it.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay. In all honestly, this makes me a little anxious, because this might not be what you were expecting it was going to go for Maggie, but this seems real to me and I wanted to touch on it because this type of relationship is concerningly common in my experience. I don't want to get too into it, cause it's late and I'm tired, so I feel like whatever I write it's not going to be enough. Anyway, I really appreciate the comments and kudos, I hope you like the story.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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